How do I find a nursing home for my 75 year-old mother?

Answer:
That is so tough!! You will undoubtedly get lots of good advice here on Answers.

I think the first thing that needs to be done is to define is the level of skilled nursing she requires, and the main physical reason that she needs the nursing. For instance, a person with Alzheimer's or other dementia is probably not going to be well served in a nursing home that is heavily used for physical rehab. I went to various web sites including Medicare, that rated nursing homes based on standard review criteria, but in the end, I did not find that info as useful as I had hoped.

Let me tell you my experience, it is probably not the usual, thank heaven, but I just want to share it.

My mom and dad were admitted to a respected hospital in a prosperous area on the same day, she for imbalance and falling and fairly advanced Alzheimer's; he, for physical injuries from trying to be her one and only caretaker. At the hospital, she got out of bed and fell out of bed multiple times a day whenever family was not at her side. Two days later, they were both admitted to an "award-winning" nursing home, locally touted as best of the best and with no violations. (This is in Florida, so there was no shortage of competition). Mom already looked like she had been dropped out of a plane, she had so many swollen and discolored bruises and lacerations.
Dad received excellent physical rehab there and was out in less than two weeks. After a month, my mom had fallen and broken her hip (right AT the nursing station). She could not communicate her needs, and often had impacted stools and other such pains that she could not describe. I found out that at no time did they realize she had a substantial partial denture! One day she managed to communicate to me that they were "always mad at her".

Against everyone's advice, and with great trepidation, I moved her to another nursing home in town. It had a bad rep and many violations. But it had an Alzheimer's wing. Yes, it was a sad and maddening nuthouse, but that is what they did and they did it well, by our experience. Mom lived another 18 months there, and never had a fall or an injury, and as far as I could tell, no one was ignored, but neither were they ever scolded. When I had to return to Virginia, I was comforted by knowing that I had found the best place for her. I was kept informed of every little thing -- there were not many -- as was my dad who was back at home nearby the nursing home.

I am telling you this NOT to scare you, but to advise you to keep your eyes and ears open and don't put your total and unquestioning trust in the hands of "experts", ratings or even hearsay. Don't settle if you are not as happy as you think you should be with the arrangements.

Best of luck to both of you!

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Do not jump into the first one you find. Make sure that it is a place where she will be comfortable and have her needs met. Tour different facilities and ask about the routines and staffing... how many clients per staff member etc. Also keep in mind the proximity to family and how easy it will be for family to get there to visit her. Best of luck to you, I am sure this is not an easy time.

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Ask lots of questions when you get there and look around the facility. This can usually be done during that Nursing Homes business hours. Check out other patients,do they look cared for? do the employees look neat and clean..happy to be at their job or do they looked stressed? Does the nursing home smell of foul odors? does it look dirty and unkempt?
Many nursing homes are usually short staffed. Look at the nursing homes in your area and google them,ask to see their last state survey. Do they have a high skin rate(which means alot of bed sores) It is aloud to be seen by the public. The internet will provide you with links to check out the facilities near you and what their state survey was.
My best advice is to choose a nursing home that is SMALL and comfortable when you walk in. What is their menu like? is it food that your mom will enjoy? do they offer alternates at meal time incase she does not want it?
Another big thing is this..make sure you visit your mom often. Make sure that you understand the ratio from patients to a CNA(most places a caretaker will have up to 15-20 patients to care for on her own). The CNA's(certified nursing assistants) are required to check their patients and assist them with their needs but it is a very overwhelming position and family members should come up there as much as possible to be involved with the patients daily routines. The CNA's are not able to be in every patients room every 15 minutes for they have patients to feed,bathe,change,turn,etc..so you must be very understanding of this before you decide a nursing home is the best decision.
The healthcare industry has its pro's and con's and with Nursing homes..its all about choosing the best one in your area. You must do your research..even talk to other family members that have their loved ones there too.

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I鈥檓 a writer for Gilbert Guide, the foremost resource for everything senior care. It looks like the other answerers gave some great advice for judging a facility once you arrive. Having helped many families move through this process, I have some easy-to-follow advice for deciding which facilities to visit.

1. Make a list of your mother鈥檚 needs and potential future needs. Do she require a facility that cares for people with mild memory impairment? Does she have special dietary requirements? Will she require more than two weekly showers? Does she require assistance with eating?

2. Decide on a location. Are you flexible with geography, or do you need to find a facility within a certain radius?

3. What type of funding will you be using? Private? Long-term care insurance?

4. Will you be looking for private accommodations?

5. Is a full activity schedule important to your mother?

With these questions in mind, you should now formulate a list of the nursing homes in your area so you can ascertain which meet your needs before you begin making visits. I recommend using Gilbert Guide鈥檚 online subscription service to find local facilities and answer all these questions. You can read unbiased reviews of the nursing homes in your area if you live in any of the following regions: Philadelphia, PA, San Francisco, Bay Area, CA, San Francisco, East Bay, CA, Los Angeles, CA New York City, NY or Dallas Fort Worth Metroplex, TX. If you do not live in these areas, visit http://www.medicare.gov/ for a listing of local facilities. You won鈥檛 be able to read reviews, but you鈥檒l still be able to formulate a list so you can call for answers. Make sure to check the deficiencies for each facility. Keep in mind many nursing homes have deficiencies. What鈥檚 important is whether or not they were resolved, how and how quickly.

Medicare has a comprehensive nursing home checklist that you can bring with you to each facility you visit:
http://www.medicare.gov/nursing/checklis...

I also recommend reading as much as you can on the topic of nursing homes. Visit our skilled nursing category blog to learn more:
http://www.gilbertguide.com/blog/tags/sk...

I hope this information helps. If you have any questions I may be able to answer for you, you can email me at info@GilbertGuide.com.

Lori
www.GilbertGuide.com

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